Ever Have "One of Those Days"?

Ever had "one of those days"?

I know I have. I have even had entire strings of them which leads me to wonder, are "those days" secretly breeding like bunnies somewhere just to spite me?

It can be hard, and normally it is just one small event that sets off the whole mess!!!! You can spiral down into a pit of frustration and despair that seems impossible to climb out of. 

As a musician and a self employed reiki healer, some months can be exceedingly light for work, especially the winter months. This often leads to stress and frustration as I attempt to grab on to anything, it seems, to keep myself afloat. 

I start to drift away from my yogic and meditative practices and begin to drift into a cycle of negative thought and worry; but then I am reminded by loved ones and that soft voice inside, "you do not have to let your self sink down into this negative pit of anger and despair. You have the choice and power to change this!"

The Negative Mind is rather over-developed in many western countries. What was once an area of the  mind that would help us protect ourselves, has now instead led many to shrink away from the world and into themselves.

The Negative Mind gets a bad reputation in this day and age. Do not be confused. You NEED your Negative mind. It is what allows you discriminately identify danger; without it we have no boundaries for ourselves. We must find a way to balance our Negative mind and allow it to flourish in a healthy way.

So what can we do when one of "those days" comes along, or heaven forbid, it and its entire extended family?

First:

Stop and Breathe!! 

Remember last time when we talked about the amazing benefits of even just a few minutes of breath work? 

Yep, just three minutes of pranayam can completely shift your mood and thought pattern. 

Second:

If you can, go OUTSIDE!!! 

Get some sunshine. Sunlight is noted to boost Serotonin levels.

Serotonin levels can affect mood, appetite and digestion and sleep, not to mention many other mental and bodily functions. 

Third:

Meditate and do some Yoga! (Yep you knew that one was coming ;) )

Exercise is great for the body and can help relieve stress and release endorphins, and on top of that yoga works to balance the flow of energy in the body: exactly what we need when we get ourselves into a funk.

There are many different mantras and meditations to work with your positive mind.

One simple one that is great for both children and adults is the:

"I am Happy I am Good Meditation"

Posture:

Sit in Easy Pose.

Mantra: 

I Am Happy, I Am Good, I Am Happy, I Am Good.

Sat Naam, Sat Naam, Sat Naam Jee

Wha-Hay Guroo, Wha-Hay Guroo, Wha-Hay Guroo Jee

Mudra:

In the rhythm of the mantra, shake your index fingers up and down (like  parents might sometimes do when they are reproaching a child).

Another is the:

"Meditation for the Positive Mind"

Posture: Sit with an erect spine. Curl the ring finger and little finger into each palm. Bend the thumbs over to lock them into place. Keep the first two fingers straight. Bring the arms so the elbows are by the sides, and the hands are by the shoulders with the two fingers of each hand pointing  straight up. Bring the forearms and hands forward to an angle of 30 degrees from the vertical. Press the shoulders and elbows back firmly but comfortably. The palms face forward.

Eyes and Mental Focus: Close the eyelids. Roll the eyes up gently and concentrate at the brow point, the Third Eye area at the top of the nose where the eyebrows would meet.

Breath: Create a steady, slow, deep, and complete breath.

Mantra: Mentally pulse rhythmically from the brow point out to infinity with the sounds: Saa taa naa maa

Saa is Infinity. Taa is Life. Naa is Death. Maa is Rebirth/transformation. This describes the cycle of life. This kriya brings a total mental balance to the psyche. The entire mantra means, "I meditate on Truth, Truth that I am.”

Time: Try it for 40 days. During that time eat lightly and speak only truth directly from your heart. Practice for 11 to 62 minutes.

To End: Inhale deeply and exhale three times. Then open and close the fists several times. Relax.

Found in The Mind: Its Projections and Multiple Facets by Yogi Bhajan

Also work on kriyas that strengthen the Navel Center (this works on many things such as, increasing your self-esteem).

A short and sweet kriya my family and I do for the navel center is found by itself and at the beginning of the Kriya for Awakening the Ten Bodies.

1) Stretch Pose. Lie on the back with the arms at your sides. Raise the head and the legs six inches, and the hands six inches with the palms facing each other slightly over the hips to build energy across the Navel Point. Point the toes, keep your eyes focused on the tips of the toes and do Breath of Fire. 1-3 minutes.

2) Nose to Knees. Bring the knees to the chest, with the arms wrapped around the knees. Tuck the nose between the knees, and begin Breath of Fire. 1-3 minutes.

3) Ego Eradicator. Sit in Celibate Pose or Easy Pose. Raise the arms to a 60° angle. Curl the fingertips onto the pads of the palms. Thumbs aim at each other above the head. With eyes closed, concentrate above the head, and do Breath of Fire. 1-3 minutes. To end, inhale, touch the thumbtips together overhead. Exhale and apply mulbandh. Inhale and relax. 

*Make sure to tune in with the Adi Mantra before you start any kriya and listen to your body. We found it best to start at 1 min per exercise and then slowly work up (do what your body feels is best).

I hope these tips bring you strength and grace when you must face the bad days, and help you meet them with joy and wonder. 

Bright Blessings,

Param Sevak Kaur

*Please share your thoughts and progress in the comments. I'd love to hear about your journey!

Finding the healthy path with unhealthy relationships

So there have been a few things floating about in my head over the last few weeks and I wasn't sure which one was going to win out for me to write about.  But what has been on my mind the most it seems lately is what does one do about relationships with others that are unhealthy.

So I've talked loads about coming to peace with yourself and I will most likely continue to talk about that. But, the question comes up:

"What do you do when the relationship with someone else in your life is unhealthy?"

Hmmm that is a tough one. Right? Especially since often we care about the person, that is why they are in our lives. 

Where is the line between helping and loving others and helping and loving yourself drawn. 

I know I have always personally struggled with this. If I love the person I should support them, stay by there side and help them right? That is what you do for a person you love. But when do you draw the line? When do you say, "this is not healthy for me". 

This is not always easy. 

Many times we stay in toxic relationships, be they romantic or just platonic, because we feel it is "the right thing to do". I know! I'm the queen of this mentality. I often put others needs above myself in attempts to care for them and love them. But love without guidance can hurt sometimes more then it can help. What you say? How does that work?

Simple.

Sometimes at a certain point by trying to "help" a person you are actually not helping but sheltering and not letting them walk their own journey.

Now I'm not saying don't help people. Not at all. I'm saying you have know when it is time to let the person walk by themselves. You can be there on the side lines if they fall walking in the right direction, but you can't hold some one's hand forever while they run around where ever they wish.

So, how do we know? How do we figure out when it is time to stand aside and say, "No you have to walk on your own now. I am not going to hold your hands this time?" 

I have found that when you really care about someone you give your love and energy to the relationship. Therefore when things start to go south, or it becomes obvious things are not healthy or supporting you, it is time to have a serious talk with yourself. 

Ask yourself two questions:

1) Am I Happy?

This is a big one. Be honest and real with yourself. Are you actually happy cut and dry simple. No.. well sometimes on a Thursday when the sky has four clouds and I'm wearing my pink shirt answer. Just cut and dry at this moment when you look at the relationship are you Happy?

If you answer isn't a resounding YES! Then it is time to look at why. This process is not always pretty, but it is necessary. 

2) Does the person support my growth as a human being?

If you don't feel inspired, supported or uplifted when you are around the person maybe it is time to look at the role they play in your life. The energy you surround yourself filters into your being and can shape the path you walk in this life. Hell if I have to choose to be surrounded by positive, loving people or negative hateful people I sure as heck am going to choose the people who are positive. Have you ever been in a great mood and then someone at the office was just so negative and it felt like it just sapped out all the joy in your day? Why would you want to surround yourself with that all the time? Of course you can't always help who you are surrounded with, but if you can choose and if they are someone you care very deeply about, wouldn't you want to have them bring you up not down?

So now if you were honest with yourself, you know if this person belongs in your inner circle. If you listen to your inner self it will never steer you wrong.

Try this Kriya if you really are unsure which way to go. It can help you tune into your intuition:
*note make sure to tune into your higher self with the Adi Mantra  before you start your practice (a video is coming soon for you all :) )

Kriya to Know Through Intuition

This kriya develops your ability to open to the Unknown through intuition and sensitivity. The first exercise done with the One Minute Breath links the Heart Center, the Arcline and your projection. Feel your magnetic field and Aura as you meditate. Establish an open, sensitive and unlimited field.

In exercise 2 the Sixth Chakra is stimulated into action with the sound of the high pitched whistle. The sound relaxes and opens. The hand lock enhances neutrality. The third exercise is the fulcrum. You create a polarity between the fixed hand position, like antennae, and the relaxed cells of the rest of the body. You welcome and receive the information and intuition from the known and Unknown. It is an excellent kriya to prepare for powerful prayer and to develop intuition.

1. Sit in Easy Pose with the spine straight. The left elbow is bent, palm flat facing the floor, in front of the Heart Center. The right arm is extended out to the front at a 60 degree angle. Close the eyes and breathe slowly and honestly. (Work up to breathing only one breath per minute.) Feel the Divine Presence around you. 11 minutes.

To end, stay in the position, inhale deep, hold the breath 10 seconds as you tighten all the muscles of the body. Exhale. Repeat 2 more times. Relax, roll your shoulders, stretch your arms and rib cage.

2. Extend the arms straight out in front of the chest with the palms touching and the thumbs locked over each other. Close the eyes and whistle a song of your choice. 7 minutes.

This posture affects the parathyroid and you may feel a pressure in your neck.

3. Put the hands in Lotus Mudra at eye level. Relax the entire body but hold the hand position firmly. Close the eyes for 3 minutes.

This is an intertwined action when one part of the body in a confined posture becomes the antenna and the rest of the body is relaxed to receive.

To end, inhale and clasp the hands in front of the Heart Center and press as hard as you can. Exhale and repeat 2 more times. Then relax, talk, and ground yourself for a few moments.

© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan

[This kriya can be found in Transformation, vol. 2]

So now that you know if this person is someone who honestly supports your life and growth, as a person, it is time to apply this knowledge to your life.
If this relationship is not healthy then it maybe time to move away from this person and allow new people into your life. *Note: If you are in an abusive relationship and fear for your safety or the safety of others please seek professional help. If is okay to ask for help!! You deserve a life full of love and light, from yourself and others. 

This can sometimes be painful for all parties involved depending on the amount of energy you have invested into the relationship.

But breath, life is full of change and motion and this is just another change in your amazing beautiful life!!!

If you feel stressed about the situation you are in you can try this simple meditation as well:

Meditation for the Calm Heart  

1. Sit in easy pose with a straight spine, close the eyes or look straight ahead and leave the eyes 1/10th open.

2. Place the left hand palm down on your heart center. Bend the right arm resting the elbow against the side of the body, and hold the right hand in gyan mudra (thumb and pointer finger meeting with the other fingers extended) at the level of the shoulder.

3. Inhale deeply and retain the breath as long as you comfortably can.

4. Then, exhale slowly and hold the breath out as long as you comfortably can.

5. Continue for 3-5 minutes.

Note: Do not hold the breath in or out so long that you’re gasping or in distress. You may need to experiment a bit. Holding the breath out can be more difficult than holding the breath in because you are confronting a fear of death, but just relax and take it slowly. Soon you will be able to move past that fear and grow in your strength. 

 The Meditation for a Calm Heart can be found in Meditation as Medicine byDharma Singh Khalsa, MD. 

 Much Love and Light to you all! I hope you continue to walk forward strong and tall! Bringing the light and love you all deserve into each and every relationship.
P.S.K

Listen to Your Soul and Move Forward with Your Life

I know I am a bit behind with this post, but there is still some full moon energy that hangs around after the actual full moon. So, HA!

This past New Years, I talked about allowing yourself to mourn the past so that you can let it go with grace. With the Wolf Moon that just occurred (the First Full Moon of January) we have that chance to continue this work and release, cleanse and move forward from things that no longer serve us with a clear intuition and focus.

Every full moon has it's own energy that it gives off that then is layered upon by it's current astrological positions and events. I am just going to look at the base energy here but take a look at what astrologically is happening for a deeper understanding of what is going on around you.

So.... The Wolf Moon ...

I don't know about ya'll but it seems to me lately like everyone has been dealing with some pesky issue of their past lately. It could be an actual event or just a mental/emotional pattern that they are now looking at and asking "Do you serve me any longer?"

In my previous post I dealt with the first step of really letting go and that is honoring what is no longer serving you. Now we are ready to get down and dirty for the work ahead. The Wolf moon comes in one of the coldest and hardest times of the year in the northern hemisphere. This is the time when food is scarce and life can seem some what bleak in the wilderness but this is also the time when the Wolf is heard howling as a beacon in the night. 

She says now is not the time to meander around, picking and choosing what you think you need.  That luxury is reserved for warmed times, when the food is plentiful and the earth is awake. No! It is the heart of winter. Now is the time to cast aside all that is not serving you. Now is the time listen to your instinct. Now is the time to ACT so you may survive and thrive!

So sit down and think. Have I actually let go of what no longer serves me? It is all well and good to give honor and mourn parts of yourself, but it does you no good if you continue to cling to something you no longer need. 

If you are still clinging. 

LET IT GO!!!!

There are all kinds of ways to help yourself release things:

• One of my favorite ways to release  is to write down a word or phrase that represents some thing you wish to let go and then bury it or, if you wish, burn it! It can be very cathartic to physically "give up" that representation of what you want to let go.

• You can work on opening your heart center  with different Kriyas or Meditations

• You can cup your hands together and image blowing out, into your hands for a few minutes, the idea or feeling you want to release. 

There are just a few ideas to get you started. 

After you let go of the past, it is time to begin focusing forward onto the future. 

Remember it is the time of the Wolf Moon so as you move forward trust your deep intuition. Deep down in your soul you always know what is the right path for you. So if you are unsure where you should focus you new Wolf energy, try these two exercises:

Visual Collage

Sit down with a large selections of magazine with all sorts of images and articles, a pair of scissors, some glue and a piece of card stalk. 

Now flip through the magazines and see what images and words stand out at you. DO NOT try to second guess or make the images fit what you think they should be. Just pick images and words that appeal to you. It can be you liked the color or the sentiment of the image or the word/ words just jumped out at you. When you have gathered a small collection take a moment and see what you have and play with arrange it (with out glue) on your paper. You probably notice a theme starts to form. When I did my collage I found that most of my images where of nature and my words happen to all be about shining on your new path/ journey. For me, this collage is reminder of my desire to reconnect with myself and the beauty all around me. What does yours say to you?

Writing Exercises

Sit down with a piece of paper, a pen or pencil and a timer. Now write out 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year and place only three lines under each heading. Like so:

1 month

1._____________

2._____________

3._____________

3 months

1._____________

2._____________

3._____________

ect. 

Take your timer and set it for 45 minutes and begin to write out your goals for the next year. Remember you can only put three goals under each heading so really think about what you want to put on this sheet. I know when I began my goal sheet last year, there was a project I felt 'I had to be a part of' yet, when I sat to write down my goals for the year that project didn't make the cut. I ended up realizing that I didn't actually want to be a part of the project and had stayed as long as I did only out of a sense of misplaced responsibility. 

As you write your goals, word them positively and with a sense of affirmation. Here are some examples:

I will love myself more when I look into the mirror.

I will be working as a contributing writer for Mantra + Yoga.

I will be working on my art more than I ever have and it will fill me with a sense of joy. 

When the time goes off put your pencil down. Your list is done! Take a look at where YOU want to head in the coming year and now make it happen. Believe in what you have written! 

This is your time to listen to yourself, focus and thrive. Hear the wolf's call and Live your Life. 

May the knowledge in your heart guide you to survive and thrive even in the harshest conditions!

Bright Blessings

<3 PSK

Some times you just have to mourn the past

I have always been told to keep your head up and keep moving forward and this can work sometimes. But, recently I have come to discover that sometimes you have to STOP and GRIEVE to be able to move forward.

~~~

This past New Years Eve was a hard one for me. This year, I decided to celebrate with yoga and Mantra to clear away blocks from the previous year and set my intention for the coming year.

I went in expecting to chant and do some yoga into the new years and come out full of happiness light and joy.

Instead, I was shocked that I began to get angry and frustrated, confronted by parts of myself that I thought I had dealt with. 

I left the event not full of the joy and light, as I was expecting, but with sadness and frustration staring me straight in the face. 

I was confused at first.

The event was amazing, well done and beautiful. Why was I reacting like this??

I began to talk through things that were coming up with myself and my mother. Verbalizing things that I was ashamed to admit. But once the gate was open I just kept going:

Hi my name is Param Sevak Kaur,

I look for love and affection from other people because I struggle to find it in myself.

I have always worked to help and fix others in a hope that they will in turn love me and need me.

I struggle to find community because even when it is surrounding me part of myself has never felt worthy enough to be a part of the group.

Wow pretty deep stuff.
And here I had been working so hard to love myself these last few years.
But then it hit me.

I have been working on myself and it is showing. 

The fact that I was able to voice parts of myself, that for most of my life I didn't even know guided me, was huge!!!!!

The following morning New Years day I woke up no longer angry, but instead filled with a deep sadness.
Well this was great first I was angry New Years Eve and now I was starting the New Years with sadness?? REALLY???
At first I couldn't pin down why I was upset. Feeling at moments like a tired moody teen instead of the adult I was. And then it hit me...

I Was In the Mourning Part of Letting Go!

 After processing everything I had the night before I was able mourn for the person I used to be. I was mourning for all of the ideas and protective walls I had created that I have been bringing down around my feet over the last year. I was mourning, so that I could acknowledge and release the pain and shame I had held onto for so long.

So often we do not allow ourselves the honor and peace to mourn parts of ourselves we let go.

We are so focused on moving forward and growing that we forget it is good to look back, let the pain and sadness our, and then thank and say a proper good bye to the parts of ourselves that we are letting go.

They were there for a reason: 

to teach you, and to guide you for your next part of your journey. 

Honor that, but also honor the sadness of saying goodbye to something that was a large part of yourself!

That part of me that looked for love from other? 

Taught me to be strong in myself.
For I never found the love I was looking for in others and it began me on my journey to look for love from myself!

That part of me that worked to help and fix others in hopes of finding love from them?

Lead me to understand that deep down I do love serving others but not as a 'fix it girl' but in actually serving other: volunteering for those who are in need.

If I had never struggled with these lessons how would I have searched for the path to who I really am inside??

So Dear Younger Param Sevak,

Thank You!

Your struggle and strength amazes me everyday. The things you went through, the trials you experienced was truly all worth it. I know though at the time it didn't seem like it, but it really was. We met amazing people, learned so much about ourself and those around us and discovered things about ourself that we only could dream of.

You gave me memories and skills that I will cherish as I continue forward in this life. I will look back on you not with frustration but with gratitude for all the lessons you taught me. I know I can have a rather thick skull at times. But I am a better person now because of YOU! Because of your bravery, because of your strength and because of your desire for something more!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love,
 PSK

As I write this I can image my younger self saying 'Well good! I'm glad you finally learned something' and then sticking her tongue at me. "Okay older PSK, its your turn now go learn something cool too."

She then waves and goes skipping off in to the distance to watch and I continue this new part of my journey.

So no, this isn't how I expected my new years to be, but you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
What I receive was more precious to me then anything I could have asked for.

Gratitude and A Deep Release

 I am now ready to move forward stronger into the new year.

Not just charging ahead into 2015 but honoring and remembering all that has come before with gratitude and grace so I may make a new path into this new year!

May you take a moment this new year to give thanks and release your younger self. I'm sure he/she is just waiting for you to give them a hug and say thanks you did good kid ;)

Bright blessings and with Love!

P.S.K

Here is a good meditation for healing and releasing the past.

Meditation for the Arc Line and the Clear Karma

Some Holiday Stress Busters: The "Art" and Yoga Edition

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells 

Presents on their way,

 Why oh why won't the meetings stop

 And when is my next payday? 

Hey!

Sound Familiar? Or maybe for you there are family requirements, friends you haven't seen in months all wanting to see you by next Tuesday, or even something simple as just too many events you are trying to attend. 

Even the most enjoyable events and people can become an added stressers if you aren't careful this holiday season. Last post we talked about some good breathing exercises to help relieve stress, but this time I wanted to look at a different way to help you keep your sanity and enjoy this holiday season.

It is called Art, Yoga and Expressing yourself!

Have you ever found that if you sit down and let out your feelings on paper you tend to feel better?
I know it can help me, so I gathered together a good holiday Kirya and Meditation to relieve some of the crazy holiday stress and then I invite you to take time after the Kriya and taking a shavasana to take some time and just let yourself create.

There are only two requirements for this activity:

1) Do Not Judge Yourself

2) Do the Best You Can With Where You Are
--------------------------------------

What you will need for this Stress Busting set:

• You (rather important don't you think?)
• A device you can keep track of time with
• A piece of paper (it doesn't have to be anything fancy)
• Something to draw with (a pen, some markers, crayons, ect.)

So without further ado lets get to the Holiday Stress Busting!!

So since this is the first time I've offered a full Kundalini Yoga set let me introduce you to how we start:

In Kundalini Yoga we begin a practice with Tuning In. 

We Chant Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo. Which means "I bow before my highest consciousness". 

It is a wonderful way to connect to your internal teacher and connects you to the golden chain of teachers who have come before. Take a few deep breaths, bring your hands to your heart center and begin. This is a wonderful video that explains the mantra:

So your tuned in Great! Lets do a few warm ups and then we can start the kriya.

Come into Easy Pose (which is a comfortable cross leg position) bring your hands to your knees and begin Sufi Grinds go at least a full minute each way before coming back to center. Inhale and exhale as you move. Remember you are your breath.

Inhale and bring your hands to your shins and begin spinal flex for another minute or so, inhaling forward and exhaling rounding the spine. Be careful to be gentle to your body in all of these exercises. Inhale to the center and exhale relax.

Now begin gentle neck roll moving with your breath spending at least a min going in each direction.

Here is a video that gives visuals for these warm ups as well as others you can add to your practice :)

Now on to the Kriya:
Please Note:  Follow all the times and not add or take anything out of a kriya when practicing it. If you need to reduce times please make sure to reduce them all equally. Also if you need to modify a pose do so!! Listen to your body and do your best to Keep Up! Even if you have to just visual the exercises, visual it perfectly and you will still receive some benefit!

KRIYA TO THROW OFF STRESS

Well done!
Now lay out on your back and relax. You deserve it and shavasana or corpse pose allows you to intergrate everything your just did. 

Here is a beautiful mantra I have used for ya'll before that I love to play softly during Shavasana:

 

Slowly come out of shavasana wiggling your toes and fingers, allowing the breath to return to your body and stretching out. When you have gently awakened roll up to a sitting position and grab your drawing impliments. 

Give yourself some time and just let what ever you feel out. Don't judge it or try to explain it. This is for you and only you so let go. I like to listen to mantra while I work on art but you can work in silence or listen to what ever you like.

When you are done set it aside and prepare yourself for meditation. This meditation is made up mostly of breath work so is a great way to build on what we talked about last time.
 

MEDITATION TO PREVENT FREAKING OUT
 
POSTURE: Sit in Easy Pose with a straight spine, and a light Neck Lock.
 
MUDRA: Interlace the fingers with the right thumb on top. Place the hands at the center of the diaphragm line, touch- ing the body.
 
EYE FOCUS: Eyes are closed.
 
BREATH: Concentrate on the breath at the tip of your nose. Notice from which nostril you are breathing. Within 3 minutes you should know. Then change it. If you are breathing primarily through your left nostril, consciously change to your right nostril. Be sure to keep your shoulders completely relaxed. Practice changing this breath back and forth for as long as you like.
 
TIME: You may work up to 31 minutes.

*KRI has a great collection of kriyas and meditations (including these two) call the Crisis Kit

To finish up make sure you sing the long time sun. I like to sing it first for myself then, for someone I love and then for the world around me. It is a beautiful way to end your practice. 

So how do you feel? Better? What is great about this practice is that you can keep doing it and the benefits only grow. 

Much love and light to you all in this holiday season!
Bright Blessings
Param Sevak Kaur (The Whole Soul Modern Girl)   

How to thrive in this holiday season

Wow! It has been a while since I sat down to write a post for the blog. Where has the time gone?? 

Well I am back ya'll and full of new information and topics to share with all of you thanks to some amazing workshops and training I have been fortunate to be a part of.
So since we just pasted Thanksgiving here in the states and are heading into the Winter Holiday season, I thought I focus the next few posts on how to have a healthy and happy Holidays!!


Part I: Breath it is good for you!

AHHHHHHH!
It is that time of year again. Yep, you know it. The air is turning chili, the stores are all playing Christmas music and Santa seems to be everywhere!

 It is time for the winter holidays.

A wonderful time of joy and laughter, but also for many people, a time for a great deal of stress and worry.
Quite often we feel pressured to please everyone around us, trying to buy the most or "best" holiday gifts, cater to whims of family and friends and even fill our already full schedule with even more events and commitments.

So it makes you wonder... in our attempts to create such a joyous holiday season have we lost the real focus of the season? 

Do you find you get lost in the lists, commitments and that one last item to bake?
I know I do.

So lets stop for a minute and take a deep breath.
Thats right. Breath slowly in and then let it out. Now don't you feel better? And that didn't take very long at all did it?

The first things we do as a baby is take a deep breath. So lets check in with ourselves. How are you breathing?? Is it short and gaspy? Are you breathing with your stomach or just in your chest? Do you feel the air filling up your lungs and then completely empty out?

Now: I'm going to let you in on a secret. 

Many people actually don't actually understand how they breath. 

It is understandable though, as we breath automatically, but lets take a moment and get to know ourselves a little better. And understand how our amazing body performs such an important function.


The Basics:

From: "Take a deep breath" MAY 2009 Harvard Mental Health Letter

When you inhale your intercostal muscles and diaphragm contract, the intercostal muscles moving the rib cage up and out and the diaphragm flattening downward, expanding the chest cavity. This expansion creates a negative pressures space which must be equalized. With the decrease of internal air pressure the air from outside your body floods oxygen into to your lungs.  When we exhale the muscles relax and the chest cavity returns to it's normal size. This creates an area of higher pressure inside the body forcing the carbon dioxide to rush out of the body.

For a full scientific breakdown see here.

So now that we understand the basic mechanics of how we breath, lets look at two different breathing exercises to help keep you calm and grounded this holiday season. 

Breathing for Your Health

Long Deep Breathing

Some of the many benefits:

• Relaxes and calms.
• Regulates the body’s pH (acid-akaline balance), which affects the ability
• to handle stressful situations.
• Gives capacity to manage negativity and emotions, supporting clarity, cool headedness, and patience.
• Activates and clears the nerve channels.
• Reduces and prevents the build-up of toxins in the lungs by encouraging the clearing of the small air sacs (alveoli).

Long Deep Breathing uses the full capacity of the lungs, by utilizing the three chambers of the lungs:

 Abdominal, or lower
 Chest or middle
Clavicular or upper

Long Deep Breathing starts by filling the abdomen, then expanding the chest, and finally lifting the upper ribs and clavicle. The exhale is the reverse: first the upper deflates, then the middle, and finally the abdomen pulls in and up, as the navel point pulls back toward the spine. First, practice by separating the three parts of the breath. Sit straight on the floor, in a chair, or lie on the back. Initially have the left hand on the belly, right hand on the chest to feel the movement of the diaphragm.

Such a simple breath, but a powerful one. Continue to breath in this fashion for a least three minutes.  

What I love about this breath, is that you can do it anywhere, around anyone with no one really the wiser. 

So when another holiday bill comes in or some one is asking you to do just one more thing. STOP and take that long deep breath. You will be amazed how you will feel more relaxed and able to handle things.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Some of the many benefits:

• Is both integrating and grounding.
• Creates a deep sense of well-being and harmony on the physical, mental, 
• and emotional levels.
• Can help with headaches, migraines, and other stress-related symptoms

How to do Alternate Nostril Breathing:

The breath is always relaxed, deep and full when doing this exercise. Have the left hand in Gyan Mudra or relaxed on your knee. Use the thumb of the right hand to close the right nostril, and the index finger or ring finger of the right hand to close the left nostril. Close the right nostril and gently and fully inhale through the left nostril. Then close the left nostril and exhale through the right nostril. Then inhale through the right nostril. Close the right nostril and exhale through the left nostril. Continue repeating, alternating nostrils after each inhalation for at least three minutes.

There now how do you feel? Better? 

I thought so!

The holidays don't have to be a time full of stress and woe; just stop and remember your breath. It is there for you and doesn't cost a thing. 

Lots of Love and Light to you all. 

PSK

So you say you want to be happy? Here is some advise from a friend:

Everyone wants to be happy.
It's in our soul in our very being! We may have covered it up, walled it away, or masked it with substances, but everyone on this planet wants to be happy. We are beings of light and joy, yet walk down a busy city street, or ride the subway during the morning commute and see how many smiles you get.

SO ....

What do we do? Hmm? We crave this happiness sometimes to the point of harmfully "self-medicating" ourselves. 

These are the questions that have been swimming around in my mind these past few months. I work at a stressful job, have mood swings, have family members who are dealing with some big things, even issues of loved ones, who self medicate quite frequently.
I mean its easy enough to say "Let it Go" and pretend your in the movie frozen or just think positive, but when life keeps coming at you what do you do?????

To be honest I'm just a person trying to figure things out like everyone else out there. But, I figure I should share the actions I've been using these last 3 weeks and if they help you smile then it is all worth it.  I'm not going to call them Tips, because I'm no Guru but just a friend who is trying to share my thoughts so lets call them Ideas instead.

So Idea #1 Color me crazy
Wear light and/ or bright colors, crazy fun shirts, your too cool for school boots. Lavenders, yellow, blues... hell Sparkles even. Ahhh Bling it ya'll, weres my glue gun!!!  *cough*  Ehh. You get the idea...

Color is rather connected to our minds and moods, so it makes sense that changing what you wear can change your mood. Personally I find that if I wear all black (which is a work color for me) I am more prone to being negative, where as if I wear a white shirt I can tend to stay a little more positive.
There is an interesting article here about healing with colors but look around and try it out yourself.
I have a friend who puts on bright yellow and feels great, but for me, too much yellow washes out my skin and makes me feel anxious. I prefer more light blues, greens, purples, white and shimmers.

Idea #2 Keep a log
"The place to be happy is here, the time to be happy is now."
Robert Ingersoll

So I play this game with myself. I have an app called Collect that allows me to take images and save them with little notes everyday!

I then look for things that make me happy. What is my picture/ or pictures going to be today? I'm actively open and looking for the joy and happiness that is happening RIGHT NOW in my life. And as a person who is constantly looking forward and back and loosing sight of what I have bringing me joy daily this has been amazing. My whole mood changes and then my mind starts changing. Try it for just a week. See what happens, what do you have to loose? I bet you will love it and actively look at things that inspire you, make you smile or lift you up. Don't just say okay universe you can bring me happiness now. It's there, it is up to you to open your eyes to see it.


Idea #3: Share and be with others!!
After talking about happiness and such with the owner and a teacher at my studio KYB we created the #40daysmile challenge. We invited our community (local and internet based) to join us in being positive.

Let's face it, you might have shitty days. When your over tired, didn't eat enough, are hormonal (guys you have this too no lie), or just had some not cool things happen.
Were human life gets hard and that is why we have each other.
This community I found has really helped me with feedback, posts and just support. If you wish to join #40daysmile or social media or even find us on facebook. But, you don't need to join our group to have a happiness support system. Talk to your friends and family they are a great tool to use when things get tough. Not to fix anything, per say, just to remind you about your happiness and to share theirs.

Idea #4 Accept where you are and that sometimes negative thoughts sneak in
Everyone is in a different place. Some people seem to just ooze happiness and peace, others struggle every single day to find any ray of sunshine in their lives. It is OK!!!
You are you on your own journey. Embrace it and walk your own path.
This one is the hardest for me, I know. I want to be perfect and the best at everything I try. Even the best at being happy, but that begins to lead to frustration and negativity inside as I start scolding myself for "bad" thoughts and outbursts.
Here is some advice I was given:

• "Be gentle with yourself and don't worry about being perfectly positive all the time. When you aren't feeling positive, gently work your way back one positive thought at a time until your starting to feel better."
• "Just watch your mind, listen to your thoughts and see what they are telling you. If you are not afraid of them or do not have aversion, then you can be the nonjudgmental observer. "
•  "Be thankful for the "bad" stuff. I knew about counting my blessings, but being thankful for what I didn't like/ didn't want to go through/ was resisting??? This was new to me..., but then a true shift happened, and I found myself being truly thankful even for the "bad" stuff."

From the #40daysmilegroup

A meditation from 3ho.org and taught by Yogi Bhajan

Kundalini Yoga: Finding Happiness & Peace Within

Originally taught by Yogi Bhajan on September 26, 1974

Sit in Easy Pose with your spine straight, chin in, and chest out. Warm up first by chanting Ong in the long form so that it takes approximately 10 seconds to chant Ong one time. Chant through the conch, with the mouth slightly open and the breath coming only out of the nostrils. Chant in this manner 5 times, and then gradually begin to chant Ong faster so that you are chanting one Ong every 3-5 seconds. Start with 1 minute of rapid Ong and gradually work up to 2 minutes.

Comments:
“Practice it; it will set your brain, if you do it correctly. If you start to cough, allow it, because it is just your thyroid adjusting to the pressure. The thyroid is responsible for beauty and for keeping you young. Chanting this sound correctly gives power, beauty, and youth.

“There is no word `Om.’ Neither ‘Aum.’ Actually the sound ‘Om’ is the sound of the conch, which can only be created. It cannot be written and it cannot be expressed. It is the sound of Infinity (in formlessness). When this starts working, even the loincloth is lost. It frees the man of all possessions.

“Ong is never chanted through the mouth, it comes through the central nerve channel, the Shushmana, which is the tip of the nose. It brings out from you the breath like fire. Ong is the sound that man found out of the conch where he put in the breath of life. Sound of the conch is only expanded Ong. When a disciple or seeker practices at the center of the nose, his entire brain gets a very specific vibration and then the nectar starts coming.

“Through time man started writing about the chanting of Ong and reading about it, but not practicing it. The result was that he eventually forgot what the sound is and then he became a shopper. He went from one place to another, to another, to another. He went from one person to another person to another person, asking, begging for happiness. He went from one religion to another, from one place to another, from one house to another, just asking for peace. He forgot that what he is asking for is within himself.”

-Yogi Bhajan

This meditation can be found in the manual Praana, Praanee, Praanayam, available at www.SpiritVoyage.com, and www.a-healing.com.

© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan

~~~~~~

So these are just a few thoughts from my path I am walking. Take it as you will :) See you guys around and Stay happy ;p


May the Blessings that the universe shares, be always in your heart and mind.

Jenna/ Param Sevak Kaur